6 ways to be fully authentically you
Being fully authentically you is one of the most powerful ways of being. We can feel supercharged, empowered, free and like we are living our best possible self. However, it can be an intimidating process to figure out who you are and how to present this version to the world.
That’s why I have put together a list of 6 ways that will support you in being fully and authentically you and reflecting on what that version of yourself is.
I am here to remind you that you are brave, beautiful, whole and perfect. You are exactly who and where you are supposed to be.
Go out there and be YOU!
Yours in exploration and with love,
Emma
6 ways to be fully and authentically you:
1. Understand and set your strong and healthy boundaries.
Knowing and holding to your boundaries will support you in knowing who you are, how you want to be treated, how you interact with others and the environment, and keep you highly energised, engaged, connected and assertive with your needs. Assert your boundaries with clarity, calmness, compassion, simplicity and time appropriate. Boundaries are the physical, psychological and/ or emotional limit or space between you and another person. Our boundaries can be loose or rigid, but healthier boundaries are usually somewhere in between. Our boundaries allow us to not only protect ourselves, feel respected, and keep us safe, they help us to thrive.
Ask yourself the following self-reflection questions:
What area of my life do I need to cultivate stronger and healthier boundaries?
What do healthy and strong boundaries look like in each area of my multidimensional wellbeing?
How can I use boundaries to live a life full of adventure, energy, health, connection and feel more aligned to my authentic self?
2. Speak out & make yourself heard; even when you are nervous of the response.
You cannot be your fully authentic self without showing up with vulnerability, courage and healthy-assertiveness. This requires you show up! You show up and speak your truth. This can be scary but discussing what is on your mind even when you are nervous, demonstrates to other people that you have a deep self-knowledge and respect for yourself; others will treat you in the same regard. We all need practice at this, but the more you speak out and make yourself heard, the more you learn about your own needs and the easier it becomes to know, understand and assert them in pressurised environments.
Ask yourself the following self-reflection questions:
Where am I not showing up, standing up for speaking up for myself?
How can I practice in safe environments to speak out and make myself heard (so that when the pressure in on, I have experience of feeling the fear and doing it anyway)?
What do I want to say? Feel like an expert by reflecting on and practicing speaking about topics you care about. Have three topics with your ‘TedTalk titles’ that you can speak for 2 – 5 minutes on.
3. Express your emotions even if you feel the fear.
Many of us have grown up in environments where we are not taught healthy ways to express our emotions. Often, the people around us model two extremes 1) highly emotional with passionate outbursts e.g. anger, rage, joy, exhilaration 2) emotional suppression e.g. we are told emotions are bad, weakness, not to be trusted. Whilst this is slowly changing towards a healthier relationship with our emotions and learning the benefits of emotional intelligence (EQ) in my Positive Psychology Coaching practice working with Wellbeing Explorers, I find we need a lot of support learning how to regulate our emotions and view them in a healthy way (one where we use our emotions to support us in our goals and relationships). Therefore, on your path towards realising your full authentic self, reflect on your relationship with your emotions. Even if you are fearful of the reaction to your emotional display how can you be courageously vulnerable and express your emotions in a way that will support you to communicate and connect?
Ask yourself the following self-reflection questions:
How do I currently express my emotions? Particularly when I am feeling the fear of being seen and heard.
What were my models of emotional expression growing up?
How can I better express my emotions in a way that aligns with a more authentic and true version of my best self?
4. Get clarity with your values, strengths and passions.
If you have been a Wellbeing Explorer for a while, it will come as no surprise that this comes in a list of ways to explore and show up as your authentic self. Intimately knowing, and regularly assessing your values, strengths and interests are some of the most important aspects of stepping into who we really are. Knowing these will give you clarity in your direction, thinking and behaviours.
Ask yourself the following self-reflection questions:
What is most important to me?
What am I naturally and authentically good at? (other people may praise me for this too)
What am I interested in that I love to engage with and pursue growth in?
5. Explore what your purpose and meaning is.
Once you have clarity and connect with your values, strengths and interests, you can understand your purpose. These form the cornerstones of how to structure and create a meaningful life. Authenticity and purpose are closely linked, often when you find one you discover the other. When you are open to living vulnerably your purpose often becomes clearer. Research in positive psychology proposes meaning in life entails coherence (making sense of the world and your place in it), purpose (your ‘why’) and significance (your life having value). Meaning in life is especially potent when we lead from a servant heart for the benefit of the ‘good society’, with support and compassion for other people, the environment and all sentient beings!
Ask yourself the following self-reflection questions:
How do I view my place in this world?
What is my ‘why’ for being on this planet?
What value do I bring in life in the service of the good society, my community and for the health of our natural environments?
What act of kindness or compassion (small or large) could I commit to doing today?
6. Do the work to lessen the influence of the beliefs imprinted on you from others.
When it comes to our belief systems we are influenced by a complex mix of environment and experience. Our beliefs are basically thoughts that we have thought thousands of times, and core beliefs are usually formed in childhood or early adolescence. These are often rigid, deep seated and are a result of significant life events. Imprints are the beliefs of other’s that are imprinted upon us (remember the time in tennis club when you were 12 and the teacher told you you weren’t good enough to make the A-team so better just go to back to music? You’ll never make it at the A-team so you’re not good at competitive sports and you’ll never play competitive sport again. Wait a minute…that was me! This is a belief that was imprinted on me, and I took this deep into adult life!) We all have those beliefs, and usually they are not helpful to how we want to live our lives. You can however retrain your belief systems through intentional thought and self-compassion. This takes time, but you can do this to align with YOUR authentic self; how you want to think, behave and view the world. and not one that was imprinted upon you.
Ask yourself the following self-reflection questions:
What strong beliefs do I hold about myself, others and the world? Which of these beliefs were imprinted on me?
How do these beliefs affect how I think, act and interact with others?
What beliefs are holding be back from being the truest and most authentic version of myself?
Final thoughts…
This list may look simple, however, it requires your commitment to deeper inner exploration and work. There is so much within each of these areas to explore.
This work lights me up. I also know how difficult it can be. If you want support with this journey, get in touch. I can’t wait to explore this with you. I know how tough this can be on your own. This is some of the biggest work I did to find peace, contentment, joy and purpose in my life. I know you are ready to level up and bring your authentic self to the world!!
You are amazing.
You are a Wellbeing Explorer.
Yours in exploration and with love,
Emma