The most important questions to ask yourself (for self-awareness), and why
These questions are about getting the information to help you be connected and switched on to who you are and what drives you. A deep dive into you at your best. We are not taught the skills to truly connect in and know who we are, why we do the things we do, and how to flourish and thrive, or just figure out what we want.
I think a lot of our difficulties as humans are due to a lack of connection. A disconnection from ourselves, others and the environment, but ultimately, the process of connecting in starts with ourselves. The first step to connection is AWARENESS.
As adults we have the opportunity if not the responsibility to do the work. To ask these big and challenging questions that get at the core of what drives us, who we are, what makes like meaningful and why keep moving forward.
The following four questions are the most important questions you can ever ask yourself for your own self-awareness. And I recommend you do this as a regular practice. Make it every 6 months, once a year, once every major transition or big change. These will align your mindset and behaviours with what is most meaningful to you.
The most important questions to ask yourself:
1. What are my passions?
2. What are my best strengths?
3. What is important to me?
4. What needs do I need met? (and how can I better meet them myself?)
WHY these questions?!
1. Why think about our passions?
It is through our interests that what is important to us, and how we demonstrate our strengths is manifested to the world. Our passions help us make important life decisions and work towards our best-happiest selves, as well as help us choose our careers.
We also express ourselves through our passions in diverse ways such as play, creativity, curiosity, fun, pleasure, social interaction, relaxation, release from stress and cultivate skills like leadership, teamwork, empathy, physical abilities (e.g. coordination, agility, intimate and strong neural networks for example through knitting or playing the piano).
2. Why think about strengths?
Strengths are authentic and energising thoughts, feelings and behaviours that lead to our best performance. We are at our best when we use our strengths and others praise us for them too.
We say authentic because we want to be true to ourselves, as we are, not as we wish we were. So we work with the strengths we had rather than spending time and energy on strengths that are not naturally ours. Therefore, we do not aspire to strengths, we just work with the ones we have.
We say energising because when we use our strengths we feel awesome. We are enthusiastic, engaged and have that buzz of wow, I’m pretty cool.
When we use our strengths we are also:
More productive
Our lives have more meaning
We have more energy
We are more connected with ourselves
We are happier.
3. Why think about what is important to me?
This has to do with what we value in life. Ultimately, when we think of values, we think about what is important to us. Values form the core of our personalities and gives our lives meaning. Whilst there is some discussion in the research as to exactly what values do for each person; they have been described as a compass or lighthouse, helping us get back to our truth and the core of what is important to us, guiding actions, expressing needs, evaluating behaviour and ensuring high-performance.
4. What needs do I need met? (and how can I better meet them myself?)
Understanding our needs is one of the most important skills for relationships with yourself and others. A great deal of friction, stress and ill health comes from not honouring, understanding or having awareness of what our needs are.
This can be needs over the future long term, our needs that we had in the past, our present moment-by-moment needs.
All too often our unhealthy behaviours stem from needs that are not being met.
Gain awareness of your wounding, particularly around your inner child wounding, and needs that were not met as a child. You are now an adult. It is your time to take responsibility to meet your own needs. Do not expect someone else to meet them for you UNTIL you have met them yourself.
If you are seeking love and acceptance, love and accept yourself first.
The journey always starts with the internal work and self-awareness.
Once you know your needs, have met them yourself and are coming from a place of wholehearted self-compassion and love, you can ask others to meet them. Communicate your needs in a clear, calm, compassionate, simple and timely way.
Really take the time to honour your journey by exploring these questions.
I will normally only invite you to try something, but honestly, I believe this should be required learning and thinking for all humans. So set aside some time to reflect on this. When are you going to do it? Make the commitment NOW! Get it in your diary.
Allow your answers to guide, support and encourage you on your path.
You are a Wellbeing Explorer.
Yours in exploration and with love,
Emma