The only 3 questions you need to make a decision
How do you get clarity with your decision making process?
When I work with Wellbeing Explorers in positive psychology coaching, workshops and courses I offer these three questions. I offer these to you now in support of your self-mastery, peak performance and living a wholehearted life in compassion with yourself and others.
These are the only three questions you need answered in exploring an action, goal, direction and decision:
1. Is this for my highest good? (Or not)
2. Is this helpful? (Or unhelpful)
3. Is this coming from a healthy place? (Or a triggered wounded response)
Further exploration
Why ask yourself ‘Is this for my highest good? (Or not)’?
This question invites you to have self-awareness of the impact of your decisions. It reminds you to prioritise your values, self-growth and what is the most aligned path. It also reminds you to be intentional with your highest potential; am I in service to others in support of the good society? Am I leading in harmony with my heart and my head in compassion towards myself, others and the environment? If the answer is that this decision is not in your highest good, how can you better align with your purpose? This is the ultimate invitation with this question; to have the humility, vulnerability and courage to intimately know yourself, your needs, desires, purpose and what brings your life the most meaning. Align your decisions, thoughts and interactions with your highest good for a wholehearted, fulfilled and purposeful life.
Why ask yourself ‘Is this helpful? (Or unhelpful)’?
This invites you to reflect on whether what is in question is helpful to your inner world and relationship to self; your external world and relationship to your community, work, environment and intimate relationships; and how aligned the decision is with your life purpose, what is important to you and your goals. A direction that is helpful would also be aligned with your values, strengths and interests in a way that supports you to grow, expand and learn. It moves you forward, rather than halts progress or move you backwards. Perhaps you would ask yourself in conversation if this is a helpful direction or thing to say for the other person, their situation, and your relationship. In your self-regulation this is also extremely important. Challenging your unhelpful thinking and exploring your emotional reactions by asking ‘is this helpful?’ will inspire and hold you accountable to what is in your best interests, and what is most helpful in service of others and the environment.
Why ask yourself ‘Is this coming from a healthy place? (Or a triggered wounded response)’?
This is the million dollar question for self-awareness! And one that we all too frequently don’t explore within ourselves. Often we lead unconsciously from our wounded places; the wounded child, disgruntled employee, unhappy partner…Imagine how much healthier your life would be if you first asked yourself what the motivation behind the decision is. Is this coming from the high energy, healthy, rational adult who lives with compassion, clarity and conscientiousness? Or is this coming from the wounded self which is a low vibrational energy of fear, unhappiness, pain and anger? When we lead from the wounded self, there is very little room for growth, expansion and compassion. The wounded self is often from our inner child wounding. More generally this is from unmet needs. If you notice yourself feeling triggered; get curious and work the trigger. If you are triggered you’ll notice your adrenaline and cortisol rising, your inner critic voice becoming stronger and your unhelpful beliefs or unpleasant memories and emotions coming into consciousness. You may wish to run or fight. Become intimate with your personal reactions when you are triggered; where do you feel the emotion in your body? What do you think? What do you feel? How do you react? Ask yourself ‘what are the reasons I am having this physical, mental and emotional reaction?’, ‘how can I create some space between my initial reaction to bring my rational thinking brain online?’, ‘what needs are not being met?’ then ‘how can I better meet these needs myself?’.
If the answer to any of these questions is not for your highest good, helpful or from a healthy place internally I invite you to look again. What needs to change in order for these to be aligned? What are you going to commit to doing?
This is such an important, powerful and beautiful part of the journey.
You are a Wellbeing Explorer.
I am here for you if you need support. Reach out and we’ll get you booked in for your free 30-minute chat with me; Positive Psychology Coach, Wellbeing Explorers founder and Wellbeing Specialist, Emma. I’ve got your back.
You can connect with me directly at emma@wellbeingexplorers.com or CLICK HERE for our contact form.
Yours in exploration and with love,
Emma
